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Funny Shirt Categories

Paddle Faster I Hear Banjos T-Shirt

Ah, the great outdoors... Paddling peacefully down the river through pristine wilderness. No sound but the gentle lapping of water, birdsong, and hey! What was that?!? Did you just hear what I just heard? HOLY CRAPOLA!

paddle faster
I hear banjos

This one is a great gift for the outdoorsey types in your life. Or anyone old enough to remember the movie, Deliverance, with its ominous use of the bluegrass classic, Dueling Banjos.

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More Cowbell T-shirt

The "More Cowbell" t-shirt is a true classic. Inspired by the legendary SNL skit with Christopher Walken as the music producer who wants just a bit more cowbell, this joke is older than my girlfriend but still makes me laugh every time.

This is the t-shirt for people who remember Saturday Night Live in its heyday or just appreciate a good joke. Wear this funny shirt and you'll be able to tell who's cool and who's a fool by their reactions. Because cool people always want more cowbell!

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Bill Gates Mug Shot Shirt

Bill Gates has certainly come a long way. From young geek to multi-billionaire philanthropist. Still it's good to remember that he used to do stuff just as dumb as you and I do. And he got arrested for it, too. I think we can use this to our advantage.

Next time you plan to do something that could be deemed totally stupid, and possibly slightly illegal, be sure to wear the Bill Gates Mug Shot t-shirt. Then if/when you get into trouble with the authorities, you can point out the fact that Bill Gates once did stuff that was just as dumb, but look at him now!

In other words, don't get caught without this t-shirt. Ha, ha. Get it? Damn, I kill me. I should be getting paid more for writing these t-shirt descriptions.

This is the perfect funny t-shirt for any young delinquents/future billionaires on your shopping list, ( including yourself ).

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Oh, by the way... I'm Awesome T-shirt

Sometimes people fail to realize right away that I am totally awesome. To combat ignorance and prevent people from dissing me by mistake, I like to wear my I'm Awesome t-shirt. This keeps everyone informed of my awesomeness at all times.

This awesomely funny t-shirt features an image of Bruce Lee doing a classic kung-fu punch. That alone will inform the clued-in that you are indeed awesome. But just in case, the message is spelled out form them above in a funk-tastic font:

Oh, by the way...
I'm Awesome

The text is black and white and the Bruce lee image is a black and white silhouette. The background is whatever t-shirt color you select. This tee comes in the usually variety of fabulous colors, but we recommend the dynamic red to maximize the awesome.

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Surely You Can't Be Serious - Airplane T-shirt

The classic exchange from the classic comedy, "Airplane", starring Leslie Nielson as Dr. Rumack. Even people who weren't born back in 1980 when the movie was released know these lines:

Surely you can't be serious?
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley

I like wearing this t-shirt both because it's hilarious, and as a tribute to Leslie Nielson. Surely you want a t-shirt like this, don't you?

Note: T-shirts from Clutch Tees are tapered and can be a bit tighter than what you might be used to. If you prefer a roomier fit, best to get a size larger than you would normally wear. Or you could diet...

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Bret & Jemaine & Murray & Mel Shirt

The classic "Flight of the Concords" t-shirt. Bret & Jemaine & Murray & Mel, written left-aligned in big letters - what more could you ask for in a cool band t-shirt? I dunno why they left out Dave, though - maybe there wasn't room - but c'mon, Dave's a legend, man!

Anyway, fans of the Concords music and/or TV show will love this one. It's simple in design and high quality, made of premium ring-spun cotton. What's "ring-spun" mean? I have no idea, but it sounds like high-quality to me. If you really need to know, just buy one of these shirts and find out for yourself.

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No Air Banding T-shirt

Your headphones are pumping out the Stayin' Alive Soundtrack at full volume. But hold up there, cowpoke. While you're in your own little disco dance-world, the rest of us are in line to pay at the grocery store. Now we're all just staring at you. We know the No Air Banding rule is severe, but trust us: it's for your own good.

By wearing your "NO AIR BANDING" t-shirt, you'll be providing a public service and making checkout lines safer for everybody. Maybe you should get a few, so you can wear one every time you leave the house.

This funny t-shirt comes in 10 different colors and a range sizes. The material is a very soft cotton fabric which feels great and lasts long.

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Obscure Band T-shirt

There's nothing cooler than having a band t-shirt for a band that nobody has heard of. It can inspire awe and jealousy. THe problem is that before you know it, everybody and his labra-doodle has one and you can't wear it anymore without seeming like a bandwagon jumper. So what to do?

Here's the answer: The

OBSCURE BAND
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF

.. t-shirt. In a sort of retro cowboy western style font (standard indie band typography.) With this t-shirt I know I'll always come out on top in the battle of the obscure band t-shirts.

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Say Tweet Again - Pulp Fiction T-shirt

Getting sick of the whole Twitter-lution thing? So is Jules, bad-ass-assin from the movie Pulp Fiction. It's time to join forces with this pulp-fictional character to fight the twits. Are you ready?

This awesome t-shirt features the a silhouette of the Jules character (as played by actor Samuel Jackson), pointing his gun. There's a dialogue bubble with the words,

SAY 'TWEET' AGAIN.

The lines from the biblical passage, Ezekiel 25:17 are not included, so you'll need to recite those yourself.

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Black Tuxedo T-shirt

This is, I believe the most formal of the tuxedo t-shirts we've found so far. A look that says,

I may be a t-shirt-wearing slob, but I am The Master of Ceremonies so sit down and SFTU!

Not suited for funerals. The shirt-front is pleated (classy!) rather that ruffled (kitchy). A red rose in the lapel add a touch of romantic flair. The dapper matching red bow tie and red shirt buttons give it some flash. I chose the black.

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