New T-shirt Finds

Funny Shirt Categories

Ari Gold Is My Agent T-shirt

I used to be the Rodney Dangerfield of my bowling club - didn't get no respect. No matter how snazzy my bowling pants were. But then I got Ari Gold as my agent. Now I'm treated like a movie star wherever I go. I have my own entourage. Johnny Drama calls me up for fashion advice.

I highly recommend that you get Ari Gold as your agent. If you can't get Ari on the phone, though, the next best thing is to falsely claim that he's your agent. How would anybody even check up on that? The guy never answers his phone.

The shirt is simple and straight to the point. No photo, no graphics. In a simple font it boldly states:

Ari Gold
is my agent

Learn more re. the Ari Gold Is My Agent T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Pink Freud Funny T-shirt

Man, I loved Dark Side Of The Moon. Does that mean my id is under-developed, or that I want to kill my father? You should ask Sigmund Freud - except he's dead. If he'd been alive at the same time, I'm sure he would have had something to say about Pink Floyd.

The Pink Freud t-shirt features a great pic of the great man himself. And he's pink. Therefore, Pink Freud. There's also something suggestive hidden in the smoke from his cigar. If you can see it, you're probably a pervert. If it reminds you of your mother, please don't buy this shirt.

Learn more re. the Pink Freud Funny T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Noah's Dilemma T-shirt

Fake science has proven beyond that shadow of a dunce that dinosaurs roamed the earth (or at least the part of the earth near Altoona, Kansas - God's Country!) along with humans about 6,000 years ago. Proven by whom, you ask? By a group called "Creationists in Lab-coats". And we all know that if you're wearing a lab coat, you're doing SCIENCE. So, anyway, these dudes found caveman drawings in this little town in the bible belt that prove that dinosaurs marched two-by-two, alongwith all the other animals, onto Noah's Ark.

To commemorate this stupendous scientific achievement, I will proudly wear my new, "Noah's Dilemma" t-shirt whenever I visit my local creationist museum. Like Noah said when he noticed a pair of 35ft, 7 ton tyrannosauruses lined up patiently to get on his dinky little wooden boat,

DAMN.

You said it, Noah. You said it.

Learn more re. the Noah's Dilemma T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Circle of Trust - Meet the Parents T-shirt

Meet the Parents was a pretty dumb movie, I gotta say. But I did like a couple of bits, like where Robert DeNiro's character (former CIA agent or some other kind of top secret spy dude) was talking about his circle of trust, and drawing diagrams to explain it.

In the diagram featured on this t-shirt, he has sketched out an explanation for his daughter's boyfriend, Focker, telling him just where he fits (or doesn't fit, rather) into the family's circle of trust. I've never worked for the CIA (I swear!), but I am not inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to people I don't know well. So I wear this t-shirt to let pretty much everybody I meet know exactly how I feel about them, trust-wise. Always better to let them know where they stand, don't you think?

Learn more re. the Circle of Trust - Meet the Parents T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Back By Popular Demand T-shirt

This funny t-shirt is back by popular demand. You can tell, because that's what it says right on the front of the shirt. White text on black:

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!

No, it does not say "Leaving by popular demand" on the back! That would be mean.

Learn more re. the Back By Popular Demand T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

This T-shirt Goes To 12

This t-shirt goes past eleven, man. Sure, Nigel Tufnel had the coolest amp way back in the 80s when This Is Spinal Tap came out and he showed off his "this one goes to eleven". But now we're into a whole new millennium. If you want to be a heavy-weight these days, you need to take it to the next level. Which is, of course, twelve!

The shirt features an old-school analogue volume knob with numbers from 0 to twelve. Naturally it is set at the maximum volume.

Imagine the reactions from the groupies when they see that you're packing that extra 9.0909%. They'll be begging to "smell the glove"!

Learn more re. the This T-shirt Goes To 12 or just...
Buy it now

Approved Stamp shirt

You don't want people to think you're the type of person who's always seeking the approval of others. People frown on that sort of behavior. What better way to convince them all that you don't need their approval than to show that you've already been approved? With a great big "APPROVED" stamp emblazoned across your chest, everybody will know that you don't care what they think. And that will surely make them like you.

There's a light, stamp-shaped outline around the all-caps "APPROVED" text to achieve the office stamp effect.

Learn more re. the Approved Stamp shirt or just...
Buy it now

Coffee Is For Closers: Glengarry Glen Ross T-shirt

A funny t-shirt inspired by the movie, Glengarry Glen Ross. The real estate sales company big-wig Blake, played by Alec Baldwin delivers this classic line:

Put. That coffee. Down.
COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS!

And that's what's written on this t-shirt, in a sort of coffee-colored lettering, along with a pic of a steaming cup of coffee. Which implies, that the wearer of the shirt is also a closer. i.e. a winner, a success, a manly man. Are you a closer?

Comes in an assortment of manly colors and sizes. But girly girls can wear it too and get irony bonus points.

Learn more re. the Coffee Is For Closers: Glengarry Glen Ross T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Weird Works For Me: House M.D. T-shirt

I tried normal, and it didn't work. So recently, I've been experimenting with weird. And strangely enough, weird works for me. Normally, I don't have much in common with Dr. House, though I am a fan of the show. But, weird as it is, weirdness is our shared "secret for success."

I think I've beaten that little joke to within an inch of its life, so now I'll describe this great House MD shirt. Just off center to the left (from the wearer's perspective) is a photo of Hugh Laurie as Dr. House, looking slightly deranged as usual. His face is half hidden by an intravenous bottle that hangs from one of those metal stands. To the right of that, in 4 different mismatched serif fonts (one for each word) is the line:

WEIRD
WORKS
FOR ME

...and, as with all the official House shirts, there's a House MD logo discreetly place at the bottom. Tastefully weird.

Learn more re. the Weird Works For Me: House M.D. T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Proud To Be Awesome T-shirt

For whatever reason, there are some people who consistently fail to recognize just how awesome I am. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so rather than assume that they're idiots, I figure, why not help them out with a subtle hint or two? That's where the "Proud To Be Awesome" t-shirt comes in. So far the results have been inconclusive. But people can be slow to catch on, so I'll be wearing this one every day until such time as those twits at the office get the hint.

PROUD TO BE
Awesome

Learn more re. the Proud To Be Awesome T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Carcetti for Mayor

Although it had it's funny moments, you don't see a lot of funny t-shirts related to the TV series, "The Wire". So in that sense, this t-shirt is a rarity. Tommy Carcetti is the guy who became mayor of Baltimore, starting out as an idealistic reformer and ending up corrupted by the political realities he faced. Hilarious, eh? I don't know why, but I find it amusing - cynicism FTW!

The t-shirt design looks just like one of Carcetti's campaign posters in the show. It's a bit hard to see in the photos here, but it has some stars along the top with "Thomas J. Tommy" written in fairly small letters between. Below that it's just "Carcetti" and "Mayor". Like this:

Thomas J. "Tommy"
CARCETTI
MAYOR

Let's save the great American city of Baltimore. Vote for Tommy!

Learn more re. the Carcetti for Mayor or just...
Buy it now

Medellin: Entourage T-shirt

Another funny tshirt inspired by the TV show Entourage. "Medellin. A Pablo Escobar Story" is a movie within a TV show. It's Vincent Chase's greatest role ever (or at least this season).

There's even an official Medellin - The Movie website with trailers, photos, etc. Check it out.

Vincent Chase, as you've never seen him before, reveals the human side of the monster, and MEDELLIN explores why this charismatic murderer and drug kingpin also had many followers.

Learn more re. the Medellin: Entourage T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

NSFW - T-shirt

New Sandals From Walmart? I think that's what "NSFW" stands for on this shirt. Which sure is funny to me, because, like who the heck would brag about getting their sandals from a place like that? I think this is a fabulous funny t-shirt, but I haven't decided yet whether or not to buy it.

See, I was looking for a shirt to wear to the office on casual Friday. But since I'm not completely sure what NSFW means, I worry that maybe this t-shirt is

Not Safe For Work

Hmmm. I dunno. What do you think?

Learn more re. the NSFW - T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Colege Graduate T-shirt

This t-shirt is really sic. Get it? Ah, once again I kill me. Sometimes the simplest jokes make the best funny t-shirts. This shirt simply says:

*Colege
Graduate*

in an all-caps, bold, distressed font. I'd be distressed too, if I didn't know how to spell "college". Show the world that, while all that tuition may have gone to waste, at least you didn't lose your sense of humor.

Learn more re. the Colege Graduate T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Mariachi Tuxedo T-Shirt

Go formal in faux-Mexican style with this awesome Mariachi Tuxedo t-shirt. Flamboyant red and green on a black background is sure to attract attention. A stylish gold button to the side add extra flair and class.

The next time I am invited to a formal event involving a mariachi band, I will definitely wear this funny t-shirt. And all the hottest girls will want to dance with me!

Learn more re. the Mariachi Tuxedo T-Shirt or just...
Buy it now

Magic Talk Bubble T Shirt

Finally, a t-shirt that understands the value of silence. This shirt features a nicely proportioned talk bubble that says absolutely nothing. It could also be a perfect gift for that someone special in your life who happens to have taken a vow of silence.

If you ever get tired of the empty talk bubble you can always write in something pithy and/or hilarious yourself. Then it will be like a brand new shirt! You could even invite your friends to write in the talk bubble, and wash it out later if their humor doesn't is sub-standard.

Learn more re. the Magic Talk Bubble T Shirt or just...
Buy it now

Da Vinci Rock Man T-shirt

Everybody know that Leonardo rocks. No. Not that Leonardo. I mean, of course Leonardo da Vinci. Artist, scientist, inventor, celebrity chef, and a man with undeniably awesome hair.

Well, I'd now like to introduce you to a tribute tee to the great man and his massive contributions to mankind. The Da Vinci Rocks Out t-shirt. It features the iconic da Vinci anatomical diagram man, rocking out Pete Townsend style on his guitar.

A must have for any aspiring renaissance rock man or woman!

Learn more re. the Da Vinci Rock Man T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Subliminal Eye Chart T-shirt

Have you been to the eye doctor lately? How's your vision? How about your paranoia-vision? Test your friends' (and potential friends') vision with this cool eye-chart t-shirt. In fact, challenge everyone you meet to take the eye/paranoia test. As the famous saying goes, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

This t-shirt is laid out like a typical vision test chart, but the letters spell out those immortal words of wisdom,

EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET YOU

Some of the letters are coloured red rather than the standard black for some reason. It must be part of their plan - secret meanings, hidden messages are everywhere. Or maybe it just looks better that way.

Learn more re. the Subliminal Eye Chart T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Disheveled Tuxedo T-shirt

A tuxedo t-shirt is a great way to bridge the chasm between formal and slovenly. But what about the after-party? You might feel a bit self-conscious, still wearing your fully formal tux tee while everyone else is loosening the bow ties, undoing a button or two.

Here, for me anyway, is the answer. The Disheveled Tuxedo T-shirt. It's a black formal-style tuxedo print, but with the bow tie hanging loose, top shirt buttons undone, and the shirt un-tucked. A few wrinkles add an extra touch of verisimilitude.

If I'm ever invited to the wedding of one of the Trailer Park Boys, I'm totally wearing this shirt. I won't try to use the word "verisimilitude" in casual conversation there, however.

Learn more re. the Disheveled Tuxedo T-shirt or just...
Buy it now

Meh. T-shirt

Some days I just feel kinda meh. On that kind of day, the last question I want to answer (other than, "Who took my chocolate?") is "How are you doing?". In order to preempt that sort of question, on meh days, I wear my meh. t-shirt. If any of my friends do ask me how I'm doing, I simply point to the shirt and possibly making my patented, "meh" look.

Meh is the perfect word for that sort of mood, meh is exactly what the t-shirt says, in a simple, but light-hearted font:

meh.

I rate this t-shirt at 1 meh. Comes in navy, maroon, red, black, and royal (whatever royal means - must be royal blue...)

Learn more re. the Meh. T-shirt or just...
Buy it now